i want to write about the mud-scented streets of mangal bazaar

after a heavy rainfall

how people merge into blurs of splotches

mainly because i forgot to wear my chasma

and how couples are mistaken for "couples"

because one plus one of another sex is definitely "couple"(sarcasm intended)

and how child-beggars stab your conscience

con+science=conscience?

what does this even mean?

i refused to give the child any money.

it is not because i do not have any

i collect coins

i could have spared one or two rupees

but i knew there were more

more than i wanted to admit

but the thing is i turned my face away from the child

i knew people were staring at me

trying to avoid eye contact at the same time

because they know-they would not spare a coin as well

or am i trying to justify things?

is it called 'con' because you are faking it? or trying to fool someone?

and is it called 'science' because science=neutral=unemotional?

and i wanted to write about the guide showing off Krishna mandir

to strangers who were absorbing hamro culture

letting the images sink

of gods and goddesses making out

of kings and palaces

but i rather not venture into those mud-scented streets of mangal bazaar

(crap is what this is...wrote some weeks ago i think...after a walk from mangalbazaar...sucks not being able to express what i feel everytime i go there...it is more than this for sure)