It rained the whole day as I strove to fulfill my daughterly duties. My mum is sort of happy with me, added the thorough vacuuming that I did of the living room (yes, we have a room where we just live). I think she is really happy with me today; I managed to remain home all day, smiled and bowed down at the right times, served chilled drinks as soon as the guests started to arrive and washed all the dishes diligently.

I have never complained about having to wash dishes. That I will do whenever anyone will ask me to. I think it is therapeutic; an exercise of some kind. It gives me such peaceful time where I systematically clean all the dishes.

But the point is, it rained all day today! Still pouring and normally, I would feel very drab and useless but today, there is a sense of being useful (at home). Any other day, you would find me brooding over old memories, resentments and feeling awfully low. Rain has that effect on me. Some people dance outside in the rain, some people prepare warm cups of tea for their families, I just feel very low. Not sad, or lonely just low. It reminds me of that day and that day, like I have mentioned before, changed me.

But, today, I managed to remain far far away from being low. Sometimes the conventions are ok once in a while to adhere to. I enjoyed being a dutiful daughter today. All that running, serving, fake-smiling is far better than the emotional games people play with you.

Well, it has not stopped raining and perhaps, tonight, I will sleep soundly for I am tired.

PS: Well there are rainy days when I dance outside chhat ma, make myself some tea (or coffee) and feel really calm because I am not really THAT drab but haven't really had that sort of time for quite a long time!)