Well, I wanted to blog about a lot of things for the past few days but my brain is a clutter therefore, pointers.
1. I have started to speak with myself a lot recently; A LOT!, it must be something to do with how little actual real conversations I am having (which is so little because of all the mess); therefore, the rate has increased and sometimes, I find myself talking to myself, mostly when I am walking. It scared the shit out of me today when I realized I was talking to myself about myself!
2. While one of those monologues (it is safe to call it that instead of some form of mental disorder, and here you will say, no no, even I talk to myself, it is normal...but let me just remind you, seriously, you do not know); I was talking about how if I could cast one black magic spell; I would ask the spell on anyone who 'passed comments, teased, stared, tried to push or touch you, make ambiguous comments in a very sly manner : basically, the girl/boy teasing lots) and my spell would be: as soon as they passed the comments, they would crap their pants for one hour; in public, right there. And, eventually and hopefully, they would be conditioned (refer to Pavlov and Skinner) so that anytime they even think of teasing, they would fear the punishment of the 'crap'.
3. I am trying to read On the Road by Kerouac (desperately) and I have reached I think somewhere around 68 page so far. Not good. Not good.
4. I have two 3000 worded essay to write.
5. I just have this idea for a comic in my head and I have started doing the initial sketches (Let me just tell you, when I say sketching, it is more like doodling). Don't ask me why, but because of this, I have to now start re-reading Murakami's Norwegian Wood. Don't ask me why.
6. My hands hurt like hell. I washed some clothes (emphasis on some) and when I told mum that my hand hurt, she just smiled. I know. I know. She washes more than some clothes every week and she can never complain. I know. I know.
7. Today, I was in a meeting which I absolutely hated being in but I had to be; and I somehow became the person who had to write the minutes of the meeting. I could not help thinking if it was my ego that was hurt (which would be a vain reason to hate it) but then I also realized, if I....(sorry, can't even get to finish this sentence)
Yes, so...
1. I have started to speak with myself a lot recently; A LOT!, it must be something to do with how little actual real conversations I am having (which is so little because of all the mess); therefore, the rate has increased and sometimes, I find myself talking to myself, mostly when I am walking. It scared the shit out of me today when I realized I was talking to myself about myself!
2. While one of those monologues (it is safe to call it that instead of some form of mental disorder, and here you will say, no no, even I talk to myself, it is normal...but let me just remind you, seriously, you do not know); I was talking about how if I could cast one black magic spell; I would ask the spell on anyone who 'passed comments, teased, stared, tried to push or touch you, make ambiguous comments in a very sly manner : basically, the girl/boy teasing lots) and my spell would be: as soon as they passed the comments, they would crap their pants for one hour; in public, right there. And, eventually and hopefully, they would be conditioned (refer to Pavlov and Skinner) so that anytime they even think of teasing, they would fear the punishment of the 'crap'.
3. I am trying to read On the Road by Kerouac (desperately) and I have reached I think somewhere around 68 page so far. Not good. Not good.
4. I have two 3000 worded essay to write.
5. I just have this idea for a comic in my head and I have started doing the initial sketches (Let me just tell you, when I say sketching, it is more like doodling). Don't ask me why, but because of this, I have to now start re-reading Murakami's Norwegian Wood. Don't ask me why.
6. My hands hurt like hell. I washed some clothes (emphasis on some) and when I told mum that my hand hurt, she just smiled. I know. I know. She washes more than some clothes every week and she can never complain. I know. I know.
7. Today, I was in a meeting which I absolutely hated being in but I had to be; and I somehow became the person who had to write the minutes of the meeting. I could not help thinking if it was my ego that was hurt (which would be a vain reason to hate it) but then I also realized, if I....(sorry, can't even get to finish this sentence)
Yes, so...
people say the first sign of madness is talking to yourself. i disagree. while i dont really talk to myself, i have monologues in my head about myself. and no, i wouldnt call it 'thinking', its basically 'talking-to-yourself,only-no-one-can-hear-you'. i do find myself mumuring sometimes though. i guess what im trying to say is, you're not alone :)
ReplyDelete:) hehe thanks
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