there is a silence that i have crawled into

amidst all the rain pattering, toad croaking and dogs barking

i have settled down for the mundane

for the days that pass by insignificantly

for the nights that turn into days shamelessly

i miss being a student, roaming through the library racks

romanticizing about some anonymous letter that i might stumble upon

i found friends in the characters

my world was defined by theirs

it was a lie that i wanted to believe in

i wanted desperately to write

but i knew i was never born to be a writer

i would be among those who could appreciate ones who could

and therefore i hid behind the shadows

i listened to him

i came my futile comments and praises

i showered them upon him

i knew he would appreciate the writer in me

the poet in me

now i have turned into a zombie-student

i fuck words

and they fuck me

i babble about discourses and dialectics

i ramble about conflicts and constitution making

i manipulate my ways around

because i know everyone else will be convinced

because everyone wants desperately to believe

if this rain were to stop right now

they would hear me

crying out loud

and that is why i love this rain

it drowns away the sound of silence that i have crawled into