i have come back to you
after ages
i read you differently today
no longer so anonymous
no longer so comforting
yet you exist
and therefore
i keep coming back to you

i am no longer the same
i no longer have faith in people
cynical
maybe
but still you hold a special place in my memory

i am afraid of being alone
as loneliness creeps under my skin
with that familiar touch
and assures me that
all is for the best

i am afraid of even solitude
what use of it?
when there is no comfort in it
but only anxieties and fear
of losing
one's mind

i am afraid of company
that reeks of emptiness

i am afraid
that i must disappoint you
for i have only regressed
and therefore,
come back to you