dreams

Life plays jokes with you. It scares me to be passionate about anything because the thought of life playing jokes with my life leaves me unsettled. Acharya reminded me of a singer who never existed in my narrative; never came across my shuffled playlist and might never have if not for Acharya.

"Hajar sapana haru ko maya lagera aaucha"

I had forgotten to dream; except for those few nightmares that I forget instantly and some of the random images which play with my subconscious and unconscious. Perhaps the movie has a dramatized version of someone's life; and if someone has any problem with the technical aspects and such, this is not the blog for it. The sepia-toned frame made me resent my lack of history.

I spent significant part of my childhood in D but I never had the kind of perspective this movie provided. I saw the farm, the hills, the fog, the friendly smiles and the down-trodden shops and it did nudge my memories of some distant, forgotten part of my life but as much as I tried, I could not piece them together.

S whispered "Maile socheko paribesh, sano teti thiyena; bujhyau nanu"

I looked at him; his shadowed face showed approval.

I do not know what context have I thought of, let alone if it is big or small. Life for me is a bubble and sometimes I manage to slide into another one which leaves me jolted for a while; I am comfortable in my own bubble; I will miss it. I like the challenge of it but I also love the slow-paced comfort of my life.

It would be dramatic for me to say his songs awakened inspiration within me; maybe or maybe not. What it did awaken within me is this resentment towards this normalcy I have settled down for. It awakened this discomfort at my ease with the kind of life I am living. It awakened a singer within me, a musician, a lyricist; an individual.

S dreams.

I just wander.