(untitled)

I want to share some wisdom today (do not ask me why). There is a lot going on in my head but one of the most predominant thoughts that keeps bugging me in a way is when I encounter how given it is to have an access to technology.

I remember the first piece of technology that I owned was a walkman (for those who are iPod generation, it is a small cassette player that is portable). I cannot exactly remember but I know my brother used to own one, probably a gift from our father. I remember it had a silver shine and some fancy buttons. It is still hazy for me if that was the one that I came on to own later or was it another one; but I remember taking the walkman to my French classes. And the cassettes that I owned were pretty much hand downs from my brother and some mix-tapes. I wanted a CD player then. And, one fine morning, my brother left for his college (or was he teaching then) and had left me a Sony CD player on the dining table and my mother looked at me and said "dai le talai dinu bhako". I think I never thanked him for it. He had left two CDs with it; one by Rahul Vaidhya, my then favorite singer.

Pretty much the same with the first MP3 I owned; a hand down from my brother and it only was during my Bachelor's that my aunt gifted me one. It was also silver. By then, I was into Norah Jones, Beatles, and some fine Hindi melodies and sentimentals. I never owned an iPod. But the MP3 was such a bother because I would never have the money to buy batteries for it and as much as the cover says, the rechargeable batteries are not really rechargeable. 

So, you must understand my happiness to own my own laptop and a camera with my own savings. I was ecstatic. I do not remember but my father mentioned how my brother used to go some place else to use the computer. I am not including the first desktop and the first refrigerator that we owned as the technologies I owned because they have a completely different story. And the memories are completely different.

I do not know where I am going with these briefs but last night, I realized for some people, me owning a laptop is a privilege. I cannot deny it is not a privilege. A 24 hours internet access, in addition, is luxury. It is. I absolutely cannot deny that. 

But, they cannot deny the fact that there has been a struggle. There has been a lot of not spending money on clothes and make-ups and luxury items to save. There has been days when I have saved from my lunch money and days when I have saved from my scholarship money. When I was in F, I looked away from fruits and items that others were buying. I saved each penny because I knew there was no other way I could own a laptop (!) and get away with it! I have worked my ass off assisting and saving up. The first bank account I opened was from my own money and every time I go to the bank, I remember there has been a struggle.

I am not hinting that someone has denied these struggles. Not really. Just something going on it my head. Also maybe because I know some people for whom there have been no struggles and they change their mobile phones or gadgets like their clothes and even that is too much for me. I guess, there is a value judgement attached to it and perhaps, a lot of bias from my side.

I save. And it is not just about owning these technologies, and for me my laptop and internet access; but I have grown an attitude of humility towards these ownerships. 

I hope people realize how it is not really about the access to technologies that they have started to take for granted but the access to THE access and the attitude towards it.

That's it.